Different people are making each other not any different from one another. What all these different people have in common is that these different people are all flaws and flairs of their own. We are people with different destiny, different goals and different visions. Sometimes, i am fearing of overthinking so much because i do not want to end up contradicting my thoughts. In my mind, what is happening to everything around? Will we all eventually make it through the day. I know for some point in my life, i will have more fears and doubts. The life of being an adult. The path towards adulthood and the road to being more and more older. I do too, feel the same as anyone who feels it. Nowadays, I realise not all the time that "money can buy" really matters. If you have a dream, you can always make it come true. This is life, the real world. The bittersweet reality that one shall endure. A phase we never expect.

Once bitten, twice shy

If I could turn back time, I definitely would go back in time. I still remember vividly being that small-town boy with dreams and fantasies. At nights that I could not sleep, writing would be my secret remedy. It was never my studies, it was never my compeitition to be the best in the class. Whatever happen to him? I really wish I could turn back time so I do no need to meet some people from the present. Because there are some that left me with so much scars. The scars have left pain, sorrow, hurt and isolation in me. If you knew me back then, you knew how much I enjoy life. Until now, I have experienced anxiety with so many people after the blow-up of my life. Everyone who tried to become close to me made me fear of what will happen in the future.Until now, I still fear of people who are close to me. It is not nice when someone hurts you badly. My goodness, yes I was strong all along. A person can tear another person down. It is the worst thing to ever happen. Still cannot accept what had happened to me, I can only say thank you for everything that you did. Although a lot of pain had happened at that time, I am glad I recovered slowly. All I can say is, pleasetake care of yourself, people. This world can be crazy. People would damage you and never say "sorry". Until now, the scars are still there. Thank you for giving me that scar, I appreciate it so much. 

If anyone ever felt lost, hurt or petrified all the time. No worries, these are parts and parcels of life that will leave you aware of who you are.

Many leaves will stay rooted to the shoot, but many will fall on the grass. As for this one, it is for keeps of many years to come.

1.06p/m.

Library

SOMETIMES

Sometimes,

Letting go means opening yourself from broken scars

Getting to understand that you have more of it deep inside

That no one can undermine your capability

It is never a bad thing

As long as you are more contented

More aware of yourself

Instilling your true happiness

Sometimes

People come to your life as a learning lesson

They were never really meant to be

They were just there to need you

So no worries dear self

Because you know how far you come

You know who was really there for you

You were blinded back then

But nevermind you have grown

Sometimes

The deepest farewell means the deepest conviction

Of the spoken truth that none has known

If you ask me now

I would say I am aware now than before

I choose not to regret

Because I know I have given back enough

Sometimes

You just want to shut everything down

Let everything go

Because it never seems to make you comfortable

I learn that in life

Nothing lasts forever

It is either you evolve, grow and move one

As for me

I am glad to say

that I am contented

no longer lingering

TIME

TIME

There comes a time,

In your life,

That you know what exactly you want,

What exactly you need,

Where you are heading to,

Because who you are today,

Defines the future of you,

Presents the pictures of tomorrow,

Maybe the past,

Was a lesson for you,

To be better,

To grow mature,

To dig deeper,

To hit further,

The guts that you are,

The instinct we have in ourselves,

Growing up,

Was never easy for anyone,

Learning to choose the future,

Was an even tough task,

It was never easy,

Let alone hard,

Do you know?

That you will be a better person,

When you start listening,

Changing and progressing,

Ever felt tired?

As if you have no more energy left in you?

That perhaps, you are part of just a passer-by,

Well, dear self,

Do not feel that way,

It is not your time yet,

It is either one day,

Or maybe under a construction route,

Be you, be happy,

Choose love, eliminate hate,

We live in a world where,

Manipulations are the worst of it.

God bless the life we live,

It does not matter where you come from,

The colour, the belief, the faith, the feelings,

You are on a way,

To a dream you once had,

Because this is life,

What kills you,

Makes you stronger,

But, it does not mean,

You will fail forever,

It is just you on a path to get better,

Either sooner or later.

11.42a.m.

18 October 2017 

Happy Birthday Dear Self.

The Hurting, The Recovering and The Healing

The Hurting, The Recovering and The Healing.

It happens to be,

That I lost touch with myself for awhile,

I cut myself from who I was,

I left myself out of sight,

I did not know what to do,

I did not know who to tell,

My intuition was going to break,

My soul was losing astray,

At that moment,

I allowed myself to be in the motion of my feelings,

Bad, good, negative, positive,

The energy that exudes out from me,

Became where it was heading to,

I did not realise,

How much pain I inflict upon myself,

However,

As much as I was hurting,

I had to know,

That no one is going to pick me up but myself.

There will be people telling you to do so,

Urging you to get back up,

But,

It is also up to you,

To bring yourself up,

Go up the way you want to be,

I was hurting for 60 days,

I was recovering for 100 days,

After that,

I knew I was healing.

Little by little,

I had not much pain anymore.

By that time,

I was able to say,

I have moved on,

I have opened a new page,

I have looked past whatever it was,

I found myself again,

I thank you,

For doing that to yourself,

For once in your life,

It was more of your contentment,

More of your inner intuition,

No longer listening to anyone,

Doing for anything,

But knowing that it makes you truly you,

For the worth you know you are.

10.55am

17^th October 2017