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Monday, 27 June 2016

WE ARE ONE, BUT MANY FROM ONE.

          Time passes by so fast, we did not realize so much have changed. One day, it seems like it was taking forever for time to come by. We thought, “It’s still a long way to go, relax awhile.” Then again, you woke up realizing that the day has arrived. The arrival not only brought a change in our lives, it makes us aware of the circumstances surrounding our lives. All these happen when we least expect it. Lately, we kept on wondering how much regret we had back then, the past mistakes and dreams we wanted to chase. Thinking back, had we never done it, we might be our biggest enemy.
          Life has been so unpredictable. One day, we are at the top of the world, finding success and sharing the fruits of it. The next day, we start forgetting about the good times and point fingers at bad aspects of others. It came across as if, we are the best of the best in this world. It does not go like that, in this context, of this universe. Sometimes, we choose to let it be. Sometimes, we overthink and further injure the pain. Maybe this is why we have negative, positive and neutral in the pH level when learning biology. Now, this is getting interesting when we relate this to science. Science has proven many interesting facts about lives. There was a study conducted that science is also part of the determinant of our future. Indeed, it is. Time, age and life. In mathematics, we learn that the unit of time is second. In physics, time is the basic units of the formula. Age is the determining number of our choice. At this age, we grow by numbers and in numbers we experience changes in our lives. We grow older and wiser, leaving other behind to university. Distance makes the heart fonder. The unit of distance is meter. See, the relations of science to our lives are the real definition of living proof. We never realize, but then it happened.
          The mind is a powerful tool. We use it for the decision we make today. We chose to create the emotions, feelings and instincts. It seems like we are ignorant of this elements of our lives but it is indeed true that we are living in a world where we least realize the incoming circumstances. The first you first, gotten close would not be the guaranteed best friend. The expectation says the possibility of a true friendship. The reality, it is the probability of the unexpected encounters. This is life, it matters to us. We lack the understanding, knowledge and quality of a powerful creator. God is there, watching what we do. We did not realize how this universe move, but it definitely reflects the colours of the Earth.

          We tend to see things differently, talk about it differently, simply because we are all different but in a similar form.

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Insomnia and the 4AM Thoughts

It takes me a lot to think about, it takes places to imagine.
I don’t know what am I going to post, but as of the recent, I realize that I have learn a lot about myself, people, life and the roughness of it. While they may see me as someone naïve and innocent, there comes a time I can kick ass, push boundaries and create fireworks. Lately, I was trying my best to impress somebody but it turns out it was making me more and more intrigue to fall in love. Yes, it is creepy. Why can this happen to me? Maybe I am currently going through a phase of my own discovery and realize that I am happier than before. Especially when I start thinking about the people that I would like to stay in my life. I am not craving for attention to be spotted or the most noticeable among the batch mates. Naan, fcuk that. I’m honestly coming clean, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Sometimes, I was wondering if I can be 100% goodie 2 shoes to everyone. It never works, because you will hurt yourself more and allow others to feel good all the time while you feel like rubbish in the green bin. Honestly, I would prefer being the recycled items in three separate colours of recycle bins.
Okay, back to the moment that I am dying to write.
Today I met **her at Esmail and I melted once again. I feel like fireworks were all over my head and that special effects from Snapchat was an indication of how I felt when I saw **her. Oh my goodness, I am so unaware of myself now and that I keep looking at **her all the time. Sometimes, I enjoy stalking **her on Facebook and then get melted after viewing the pictures. You that feeling when an ice cube is on a flat surfaced under hot temperature, then it melts into liquid. Yes, exactly I felt like that today. If this is continuously happening, I suppose it is time I burst into smaller chunks of Philips and find the emotions like the ones in “Inside Out”.
By the way, I don’t know why but I felt overshadowed by that one fella. I felt like when I lepak, borak or maybe in a gang, it feels like I became this moon that produces shadows at night. Yes, indeed it felt like I was emitting light rays to others without having the need to understand myself better. I suppose, university life is like that. It never goes on a good notes. All notes are there. So, I can only say is that I don’t want to bother, care or concern anymore. Yet again, it seems like it has become my role to be an individual like that. The question is, what about me? My self-worth, my goodness, my talents, my capabilities, my abilities and my professionalism. It seems like I have to learn to be the best among the best. If only, I am able to understand the meaning of this ever-changing journey that will keep coming my way.
These shadows come day and night,
Shining through many other paths,
Forgetting the meaning and beating the purposes,
The again, what is the motive of this writing?

P/S: Don’t worry. If you are reading this, know that I am writing this from the core of my heart and my disturb emotions that have left a dark spot in my soul. I am trying to relinquish this spot by expressing here because literature is an expression of art. Let me express it before I end up being a bulletproof material with a bullet of its own. Peace and keep loving yourself and of course, accept yourself. You are born this way. Love and No Hate. 

4.15AM

2 / 6 / 2016