DOUBTFUL THOUGHTS FROM THE HORNBILL BOY

DOUBTS

Each time, we feel like we have gathered a lot for ourselves. We try to be the best version of ourselves. We looked at the power beyond the lens and push the boundaries overtime. I am only 21 years old, and I am choosing to share this out. Because, along the way, I will flip, fall, drop and hit bottom. When I happened to do so, I must go back and reflect back to the individual that I was. I am indeed having my doubts, worrying of my future that comes along the way.

I do not know what is going to happen, but, whatever that comes my way, I shall follow suit. Life is unpredictable, it may seem like you have it all planned, but then again, it never follows as planned. I used to think that I would do this and that, plan it all out and then the flow comes by. I do believe that everyone is destined to their own greatness, owning to their own desire, living up to their own dreams and fulfilling their own needs. In the meantime, in the midst of it, remember to always change your weakness (bad attitude, horrible *****y antic) and perhaps put out a little heart for people. I am not saying that I am the noble person with the biggest heart in the world, my thought is that “celebrate life and make it a better place”. Then again, we will flip somehow, when that happens, don’t frown, but solve it. Maybe I am writing this because a lot has been on my mind, I am losing it so I better express it here. Plus, I am a messy wreck these days. My life, oh my, the messy hostel room and my calendar plans all sorted out here and there.

Anyway, in success, keep praising God (to any religious views in respect, peace) and always be grateful to your parents and close friends. I recently reached out to a friend, and I missed my best friend a lot. Chit and chat, on facebook but never met in long years. I suppose, we kept each other in respect and despite our racial differences, practice of religion and size, he and I still keep in touch. Time flies so fast, everyone grows up going to different paths. While we all live on the same Earth breathing same air and looking for the meaning, we tend to doubt. Doubting and doubting, somehow doubting is never the best option, but always remember that life just keeps getting better. I am writing this for I am worry for the people I love, care and place in my heart.

P/S: TO A FRIEND, I AM SORRY. I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS.

SIGNING OFF,

PHILIP AND HIS OVERTHINKING THOUGHTS.

 

Dear Readers, Always know that you and I are still searching, looking and seeking but remember we have each other through thick and thin in this crazy and quirky living space. Never ever think that nothing is impossible, for there is something possible for you.

MULTIINSECURITIES

MULTIINSECURITIES

Confessions of Your Insecurities

Insecurities. They just happen to exist in us. We do not realize, but somehow they just come to our ives when we break down and feel like the end of the world. Actually, a lot of things have been hyping up in my calendar plan. Sometimes, I wish television station would just cast me in some show about my life and let get paid from all the stress of life. Wouldn’t I make profits? Hmmmm..Definitely, then give back to the people in need.

It has been a hard time in this week. Well, submissions, duties, appointments and meetings. Then, I have flu, sore throat and cough all in one. Now, I can guarantee that I have fever but I am ignoring it. Sad, right. Anyway, I shall “pause” the sad mode for awhile, Recently, in my previous post, I did mention about an emceeing gig for an international sports event in my university. Well, my slot was cancelled due to professional and protocol purposes where the event did not need an English emcee. Although I was cancelled, I was hoping at least that they consider giving me a Malay slot to replace my cancelled slot. Well, this is life. Sometimes, you just have to roll with the punches.

Friends. Are friends really living to friends? Well, sometimes, I am sad and down, I feel like I have no one to turn to for comfort and problems. The ones that I can turn to are not here right now. Oh God, I feel so mentally challenged right now. It feels like I am being in an environment that teaches me that people may be wearing their mask to hide their real self. Well, I show too much of my realism that people said I was annoying. My mind is not right, right now. It is now that I have myself to rely on. Always had been thought.

Bye.

10.09p.m

08/04/2016

“I had to leave, it was a choice. However, I know it will make me better and I will come back stronger.”