Losing my father whom I called Papa was a hard one. I was eleven when I lost my father. I remember the moment he left, the world seem so dark at one point. The hot and sunny day was nothing to me anymore, looking at beautiful stars were giving me nothing but anger. At one point, everyone in my family would face their breaking point. I remember seeing my mother crying the most during that time, I cannot imagine the tears and struggles she went through. I was never comfortable sharing about my father's passing. Everytime when someone asked me about the presence of my late father, I would just give out replies like, "He is a retiree." "He is doing fine." and "He is at home." Such simple answers that I give but so much pain to harbor. Entering my teen years with his absence was sometimes a challenge, from my side and my mother's side, I was embarrassed of society's opinion.
Would people look down on a single mother?
Am I consider an orphan?
Will people accept me as someone who is fatherless?
Sometimes, I deal with his loss and keep it to myself. I know I was not alone, many teenagers face these issues. Teens and little children who lose a parent understand. My mother was not alone, I was not alone. We were not alone. It took a lot of courage and strength to smile, be happy and be bubbly. Alas, I know I was facing this loss to my own price of pain. There are people who grew up without both parents and maybe were given up by their family to adoption. I consider myself lucky and thankful to have strong support system from my mother's family, Oprah Winfrey, a little bit of Simon Cowell, 8TV Quickie and a strong support of friends whom I can count by finger. Those pains, heartache and sadness were gone, but the stains are still left. Although I cope with his loss, a little part of him still stays within my memory and heart.
P/S : Cherish your parents and family.
Learn to appreciate the surrounding of your life.
Make an effort to smile even when things are hard, you will be better.
Look into the mirror and reflect the wonders of life.
Give yourself love, give everyone love and lessen hatred.
It is a challenge but fear not, it is a life cycle of amazing journey.
"When everything seems hard in life, bear in mind that everything is a chapter of life."
-PHILIP YEOH BOON LENG, [28th February 2016, 5.35pm, Sunday]
